Preparation

Preparation. Recently this word has become more real to me. Important decisions in life need preparation. Without preparation, it's easy to stray unto the wrong paths, and even easier to end up disappointed. Preparation and patience come together I guess. How has this word become relevant to me?

I'll talk about Amplify as an example.

I always wanted to form a band, even since beta. Furthermore with strong influences from our seniors back then, it's really in my blood that I wanted to form this. Me and WL talked abt it, though he was all for it, something held me back. I knew that I couldn't handle if I'd started it. I said no then. It was something I really wanted to do, but I knew that I coudln't take it up, yet.

Yet, unconciously, 4 years, all I did was prepare for it. Yep. Unconciously. I forgot all about the band along the way, buthen I was in preparation I did not know of. It was through church. The training and skills I developed. I am a different drummer from what I was back then. Nobody really understand and know of the 'harsh' training I had to endure. heh. But I stuck through it and endured. It's called preparation. Preparation. Preparation. Not only drums. Every aspect of playing as a band. I was honing my listening skills. My musical arrangement skills.

It came to a level of confidence you're assured of. I knew I was ready. I gathered the people. Amplify was born. The progress of our band is quite frightful. Everything seems to be falling into place. People seem to recognise the potential of our band. When you have people calling you up personally to invite you to perform, it kinda boosts your confidence. :) We're doing good. When you are prepared, everything will fall beautifully.

I've learnt the importance of preparing yourselves. Even for any decisions in your life. Maybe even relationships. Here's a confession. I'm really an amateur when it comes to relationships. I could say almost everyone of my friends has some way or another put a foot into it before. Heh. I have no idea what it feels like or what to do. Sometimes it makes you feel weird. And I ask myself, what's wrong with me. Am I that 'teruk' that nobody's interested in me? hehe.

But you know what. It doesn't matter for me anymore. Cos, I know that I'm in preparation. How? I'm not sure. Unconciously, maybe, as the same case of me and amplify. :P Preparation. When you are prepared, everything will fall beautifully. I don't know when I will be. But I'm not worried. :) I may not have the 'experience', but I will be prepared. Patience and preparation goes together hand in hand. No hurry, no rush. Many a people jump into it without being prepared. And well, it doesn't always end nicely I guess. heh.

When you are prepared, everything will fall beautifully.

I guess this principal is not only for relationships. It can be for almost anything. Careers? heh. That I'm not so sure about it. So I'll just zip my mouth about it for a while. Just some encouragement to any who needs it I guess. Hold your horses. Try checking your horse first wether it can fit another person. :P

ANyWay, Just some announcement. We're performing at 5th April. MMUsic Fest. Still not yet confirmed the venue, though they're trying to get E theatre. My advice, GO SUPPORT EE BBQ NIGHT. There's much more fun. No, really, I'm serious. heh. I would if I didn't get mixed up about the dates at the first place. Go BBQ ok? EE BBQ is more important than this. Support them. ;)


Have a nice day.

Under Pressure

Sometimes there're days when there's nothing to smile about. There's nothing to talk about. You just don't feel like opening your mouth to anybody. Smiling becomes hard to do. You just wanna sleep and forget about everything. As I'm typing now, I have blisters on my fingers and my palm. My third finger hurts from within. I dunno what it is. My first toe hurts a lil.

Everything's crashing down. Heavily and fast. I have barely time to breathe. Maybe some people would take this chance to criticise me from being too ambitious and 'cari pasal'. Go ahead la. I don't really care. Wanna shoot, just shoot.

I'm under pressure. Pressing down on me. Pressing down on me.

Recently, been watching this clip over and over again. One thing is, it's really what I'm going through. Secondly, really fascinated over the duet. Wonderful how two bands can duet so nicely. Any band wanna duet with us?


Under Pressure
My Chemical Romance and The Used

Pressure pushing down on me
Pressing down on you no man ask for
Under pressure that burns a building down
Splits a family in two
Puts people on streets
da da da
da da da
da da da
Ee day da - that's okay
Its the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Scream 'Let me out'
Pray tomorrow takes me higher
Pressure on people on streets
Eaaa
be da da da - okay
Chippin' around kick my brains around the floor
These are the days it never rains but it pours
be da do
be da do
be da do
be da do
People on streets - ba da dee da de
People on streets - be da dee da dee da dee da
It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Scream 'Let me out'
Pray tomorrow takes me higher
Yeah!
Turned away from it all like a blind man
Sat on a fence but it don't work
I keep coming up with love
but it's so slashed and torn
Why - why - why ?
Love love love love love love love
Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking
Can't we give ourselves one more chance
Why can't we give love that one more chance
Why can't we
give love x8
'Cause love's such an old fashioned word
And love dares you to care for
The people on the edge of the night
And love dares you to change our ways of
Caring about ourselves
This is our last dance
This is our last dance
This is ourselves
Under pressure (echos x2)

Thursday nights

Unconciously, I've grown fond of going for thursday nights practice. Yep. The thing which I used to dread going, and sometimes if not usually I drag my feet there, I've grown to look forward to it. Seems funny huh, how I can change so easily...well, the answer is easy. It's because usually this is the time where I have an encounter with God.

Yep. The simplest of all things. Just 15-20 minutes of own worship unto the Lord we usually have, and nothing but just the keyboard. Just pure surrender. And letting the Lord take over. These are the times when somehow the things that I'm going through seems so small. And God is so big. And praying and encouraging one another. I come back usually refreshed, and knowing that I have the Big Guy up there on my side. I get back my focus. I get back my goals.

Anyway. Serving here is not what it looks like from the outside sometimes. Heh. Just wanna encourage some people who have to be up there like everyweek, that though it's reaally tiring, it's time like these that we need to rely on the strength of the Lord. How do we do that? The Joy of the Lord is our strength. I feed on that. I need to. I guess that's the only way we could go on doing this. Without having the joy of serving Him and worshipping Him, everything will become a burden, and it becomes draggy. Pray that the joy of the Lord will cover everything, and somehow through it we can become stronger, because He strengthens us, not because on our own. Keep your eyes focus on Jesus. I'll be praying that these people will come out victorious. :) And much stronger.


And to certain people, being up there also can be disappointing. Yea. Sometimes we don get play what we wanna. And somehow we're scheduled to do stuff that we don't really fancy. :P U know something, I think God treasures this kind of sacrifices more than the ones who are enjoying what they're doing. And I totally understand the feeling of doing stuff you don't fancy. So, for the ones who're still doing it, RESPECT. But continue to pick yourself up. Maybe you have more chances to improve now, now that you get to play more frequently elsewhere. Sometimes we just need a boost of confidence, to really give us another push. Confidence was important for me, and it still is, when it's given by other people. Don't be afraid to be louder. Don't be afraid to be more define. Skills is not everything sometimes too. Believe in yourself. And that will make people believe in you too. You have more patience than me. Keep it up. ( still waiting for your first solo. ;) )

Some pics I took during practice.

Endless Waltz

It's 2.03am. I dunno why nowadays I stay up so late at night. I'm not sleepy now. Buthen I feel sleepy even during the day. I'm really getting old. You know how grandma or grandpa seem like nod off watching TV? Yea, it's happening to me man!! OH MAN. I tend to nod off in front of my pc man!! I even nod off while chatting once. Then when I plopped on my bed, I feel like real awake. I go back to my chair again, suddenly ZZZzz.... * smacks own forehead*

Anyway, big news. Amplify has been officially invited to perform at MMUSIC performance or something. heh. I can't even remember what event it was. 5 bands performing, 2 guest bands, and 3 'local MMU bands'. One of the two guest bands is Love Me Butch. Yep. WE GET TO PERFORM ALONG WITH LOVE ME BUTCH BABY!! WOHOO!! I think one of the local bands is Ragmuffins. It's at 8th April. Trying to get E-theatre for the venue. Haven't discussed with the rest yet, though most of them know already. So, we'll see how it goes. Anyway I can remember few months ago we were sulking that we were nothing. Practicing just in vain. But now, we barely have time to breathe. So many songs to practice, so little time. It's real flattering to be shortlisted, though. Only 3 bands, and they wanted us. Congratulations guys, again. :) this time, it's NOT because we're chinese. HAHA.

Anyway, somehow today a new song just came into my head. Since the last 3 songs I wrote weren't really accepted by anyone, even by my bandmates, I was thinking wether I should try writing my own songs again or just devote to developing other people's songs. Anyway, I just gave it one more try la. Anyway, just a lil tip, whenever we hear a scratch song, we should try to imagine it with everything in it. If it still sux, then ok we can chuck it away. But if without even everything it sounds good, then it's gonna be a great song. :)

This song's called Endless Waltz. Still under progress. Hopefully my bandmates can help me make it beautiful and original. heh.

The Endless Waltz

song and lyrics by Joshua Chiam

Verse

Reflections of the past

Still haunts within you, giving no rest

Amidst the tears and pain

Hope fades away, love starts to grow faint

Chorus

Won’t you wake up and see

That life is much more meant to be

The skies will clear

Wipe away your tears

Just give yourself one more chance

Verse

The spark that lights your life

Has disappear no longer in sight

Darkness won’t let go,

Don’t you give in, don’t you give out

Bridge

Fight it out,

Don’t give in

Just hold on

You gotta win

Step by step

Day by day

Take courage

Can’t you hear what I say

Dear Jesus..

Dear Jesus,

Am I at the wrong place? Sometimes I really think maybe life would be better if I were somewhere else...That day we were chatting about personalities...and it's true..I'm actually neither here nor there...grew up and raised in a chinese culture.....but having a life of the english culture now... people would say I'd get the best of worlds..it's true to some sense...but almost un-defines you...here...where I am now....sometimes I feel like I can't fit in....but when I go back to my old school friends...to them I'm not really one of them anymore...

Dear Jesus,

Please be near me. Only you understand. Only You know my heart's desires. Only You know my hurts.

Dear Jesus,
I surrender all that I am, all that I have. Take it all. To me, myself, I'm worthless. I'm nothing. Strip me of all pride. Humble me. But You still love me. Yet, You still love me.

Dear Jesus,
Please be near me...especially now...when I need You the most...

Updates

Check out my mini 'studio' ^ ^ ....nothing much...but I did the most with what I have....at least I have the chance to practice on my pedals...heh..maybe when working life starts...and I'm still into this business..I hope to be able to get my own home studio...where bandmates can come and jam anytime..

updates..updates....hmmm....what am I so busy with nowadays? Some people are already pointing out that I'm so busy I hardly have anytime to spent with them..:p..yeah it's true....hmm..apart from going to lab for fyp...being busy with job hunting nowadays..especially with the campus buzzing with career fair..interviews....had to loan a car to travel to shah alam the other day for some panasonic interview...man...just stepping into the factory alone..just reminded me all over again the experience I had at KESP penang....gave me a shudder somehow....Am I looking for 'trouble' again? ....heheh...

Trying out non-engineering companies for a change...i mean for interviews and submitting resumes...So...we'll see how...really praying for an opening in my life...opening my eyes and ears....patience and discernment...God grant me these.....

I think I have a very selfish life...I really want to give to people....my friends...whatever it is that I have...Almost everyday I pray that God teach me empathy...and teach me to love other people...I don't know whether I'm not given a chance...or that I'm oblivious to the happenings to the people around me...Feels like I'm just living just for myself...feel so selfish...sometimes angry at myself....sighz...

It's really weird that you become the best of friends when you know you're gonna leave soon...manage to spend quality time with the brothers here...there are days where we just hang out and talk crap the whole day...yes...literally the whole day...it's amazing how they have the stamina to last the whole day..hahah...but we managed to talk about other things as well...really good...heh...we used to think like, when going out...where the heck are the gals? All erm..'sticks' here..man...but now..I don't really care anymore...cos I've come to acknowledge the importance and significance of brotherhood...the feeling of more freedom of speech and act when around brothers..heh....here's to you guys man. Cheerioz. :)

Anyway, lastly...being busy with Amplify. Yup. Ok. Just wanna point out, all these means hardwork lor. And I'm really amazed that these guys really showed commitment, in time, effort and money. Maybe what people see outside is the show we put up, but it comes with a heavy price. That's what that's making me busy too. Upcoming events? Tomorrow's career fair, U nite, Malacca's battle of the bands, and we have an invitation to play at some Japanese Culture Night or something..Crazy? Yes. From sulking that we were nothing, now we have too many things in our hands...

Here's to my bandmates, to the hardwork these guys put in, stuff that people don't usually see..






Check us out tomorrow if you're around that area ya.

Have a nice day.

that's that

well, that's that for Amplify's first gig. soree, no photographs here. want more go get here. I barely have any either. Was quite pissed at first. We were supposed to be up sooner, but some *ahem* band suddenly got the nod ahead of us. Don't ask me why. If we were up, by right according to schedule, we're able to play 2 songs. ok watever. Learn something though. Crowds are real important. Sometimes you play in front of a crowd that loves you, you can get so high you'll play stuff you never play before and surprise yourself. Sometimes if you get crowds so dead you feel like buying them a shovel so they can dig themselves a hole. Whatever it is, it's a gig. Suck it up lor, what to do.

Anyway, after that gig, thoughts started to boil in my mind. Maybe some people noticed it already. Haha. I shan't reveal it. Maybe in due time. For now, we're still rock n rolling. I hope I can cope with everything.

Anyways, was thinking of changing name of Amplify. All of us agree to change. But none have any ideas. Anyone any suggestions? PLease leave it at the comment box. Really need some help here. Try not to give stupid names ya. Ya, I know that's what I'd do lar if it's someone else's blog. hAHa. Don't gif names like ' unchanged underwear' or 'pak cham kai' or something...

It's 4.44am now. I'm super hyper now. Just downed a cuppa nescafe golden roast. Working on my assignment which was due 4 hours 44 mins ago. heh. my teamate, which is supposed to be helping out is snoring on my bed now. way to go, dude. heh. can't imagine if boss suddenly wakes up and find him there. heheh. his size almost same as mine oso. HAHAHAHA....it's been so long since I stayed up the whole nite. Hmm, can't remember.

Oh ya. I finally get the chance to play for sunday service d!! I only played for FPC since coming back, so it's not really considered playin for sunday service or life party. But this week~~ YAY! I get real excited within me. (Actually, I always felt that playing for church rawkks more than anything else.heh. ) It sometimes is quite uncomparable. Playing for my Jesus, it comes from within, the joy and worship which brings about the whacking of the snares and the thunders of the toms. heh. Anyway, just something to say here. Always cherish playing for God, or serving Him in anyway. It's a priviledge. It really is. Yea I know sometimes it can be tiring. But don't complain. God doesn't want offerings which are sour and not sincere. I wouldn't want a gift from anyone who made it or bought it out of grudge. And sometimes you think that what you're offering to God is small but it's not. Be faithful in the little things. oh ya, for some people who are waiting for their 'break' in playing what they wanna play, maybe the formula is a lil bit of hardwork+ humility+initiative....or ya..plus one more..thick face...if u know what I mean..:P

Faster give suggestions for Amplify's new name. No 'chee cheong fun' or 'hard nuts' or whatever pls..

that's that

well, that's that for Amplify's first gig. soree, no photographs here. want more go get here. I barely have any either. Was quite pissed at first. We were supposed to be up sooner, but some *ahem* band suddenly got the nod ahead of us. Don't ask me why. If we were up, by right according to schedule, we're able to play 2 songs. ok watever. Learn something though. Crowds are real important. Sometimes you play in front of a crowd that loves you, you can get so high you'll play stuff you never play before and surprise yourself. Sometimes if you get crowds so dead you feel like buying them a shovel so they can dig themselves a hole. Whatever it is, it's a gig. Suck it up lor, what to do.

Anyway, after that gig, thoughts started to boil in my mind. Maybe some people noticed it already. Haha. I shan't reveal it. Maybe in due time. For now, we're still rock n rolling. I hope I can cope with everything.

Anyways, was thinking of changing name of Amplify. All of us agree to change. But none have any ideas. Anyone any suggestions? PLease leave it at the comment box. Really need some help here. Try not to give stupid names ya. Ya, I know that's what I'd do lar if it's someone else's blog. hAHa. Don't gif names like ' unchanged underwear' or 'pak cham kai' or something...

It's 4.44am now. I'm super hyper now. Just downed a cuppa nescafe golden roast. Working on my assignment which was due 4 hours 44 mins ago. heh. my teamate, which is supposed to be helping out is snoring on my bed now. way to go, dude. heh. can't imagine if boss suddenly wakes up and find him there. heheh. his size almost same as mine oso. HAHAHAHA....it's been so long since I stayed up the whole nite. Hmm, can't remember.

Oh ya. I finally get the chance to play for sunday service d!! I only played for FPC since coming back, so it's not really considered playin for sunday service or life party. But this week~~ YAY! I get real excited within me. (Actually, I always felt that playing for church rawkks more than anything else.heh. ) It sometimes is quite uncomparable. Playing for my Jesus, it comes from within, the joy and worship which brings about the whacking of the snares and the thunders of the toms. heh. Anyway, just something to say here. Always cherish playing for God, or serving Him in anyway. It's a priviledge. It really is. Yea I know sometimes it can be tiring. But don't complain. God doesn't want offerings which are sour and not sincere. I wouldn't want a gift from anyone who made it or bought it out of grudge. And sometimes you think that what you're offering to God is small but it's not. Be faithful in the little things. oh ya, for some people who are waiting for their 'break' in playing what they wanna play, maybe the formula is a lil bit of hardwork+ humility+initiative....or ya..plus one more..thick face...if u know what I mean..:P

Faster give suggestions for Amplify's new name. No 'chee cheong fun' or 'hard nuts' or whatever pls..

past few days..

lotsa happen the past few days. weekends nowadays are like real heavy...and I'm like a tired dog usually come sunday nights....and weekdays are used to regenerate and recharged. kinda like the opposite huh....anyway...last weekend...yea...i'll jz point out the highlights..

It's unusual but I'll like to highlight last Thursday night during actstream vision casting. I went there exahusted and losing focus. Too many things on my hands. I over estimated myself I guess. Draining out..Anyways when we were there somehow I chose to sit somewhere alone by myself. Away from everyone..Then we started praying...then somehow...God chose that moment to touch my heart..Somehow I knew it was coming...I knew I needed it..suddenly I was reminded of the awesome greatness of God...and how big God is...and how small I am...and I was reminded that I belong to Jesus...that I was supposed to live for Him...sometimes we're so occupied with what we're doing...our work....even our dreams...that we forget all these...and we started to lose focus..then we become burnt out...exhausted..I dunno...I fought to hold back my tears...I'm just glad I had an encounter. :) I don't really bother about anyone else. At least my Jesus still smiles at me.

hmm..next up...oh yea...friday. 03/03/06. Hmm..Don't really wanna go into the details. It's just funny...it's the first time 4 of us are in the same car together. think about it. We've never sat in the same car before...4 of us..at least for this semester...somehow it's a wake up call for all of us..don't think it's a 'coincidence'...watever our lives may be....I don't really fear IT....but I know if I go...people..especially my family will suffer greatly. So..God don't take me yet...at least wait till my parents go first ok? :) I'll not just brush this aside and get along with life as if nothing happened..only a fool will take a hint and still walk the same path..

Ok. Hmm..oh yea..We made it pass audition on Saturday...quite a lepak audition...in fact I was thinking of something else while playing...wat was it again ar...was it breakfast? heh..dunno..I really hope we don't go in cos we're chinapeks...cos the rest are all malays...anyway I've come to point of questioning myself the reason why I'm doing all these...what are my motives...what are my objectives...sighz..I better not say too much..later kena pecat..:P oh ya. Audition results for U-Nite's not out yet. So we dunno yet. But we'll be there this wednesday lar. So..that's that. Not really asking for all out support...just asking if you have nothing to do..and have 3 bucks to spare..mebe you can come gif us a lil cheer. :) Don't really wanna burden anyone. ;)


This is for Uncle Chan...Hey man..Soree I couldn't be there...You don't know how frust I am that I can't make it....


When I close my eyes to this paradox place
I'll fly away, far away from here
I'll get away and dream, dream of you

When it's all said and done
And the night has come
I'll disappear, take flight on the wind of wishing you were here
Fading light, like a star whose life has been gone for years

And I'll fly, fly across the sky
And I'll leave, I'll leave it all behind
If you'll be here, here with me tonight
I'll be fine, I'll be fine
I'll be fine

MAE
Awakening

Hope

Ok. Erm. I don't really fancy going around broadcasting about Amplify. Maybe I guess we're not even anywhere yet. So usually if there's band practice, when people ask, I'll just mention music practice. Heh. That's just me lar. But anyway, just some updates...

Amplify will be going into it's first audition since the 'spirit-crushing' exit from the last audition. ( well, at least it was like that for me. heh. ) Actually we're auditioning for 2 upcoming events this coming weekend. Saturday and Sunday. Trying out for next wednesday's Career Fair live concert and also for U-Nite. So, hopefully at least we make it for one of those two. heh.

Amplify doesn't really have top quality musicians or singers. We're just trying out best. :) So I don't really blame anyone for not believing in us yet. heh. But I can see everyone putting in effort. And I'm also having my hands tied. So, I'm pretty proud of the guys. Hopefully we can break the 'duck' and maybe we'll have a handful of people who'll support us one day. :) If we make it pass audition, then maybe you'll hear some updates then. If not, heh..we'll just keep quiet again and try for it another day.

I really hope we can.


Trying out this song. Be sure to check it out. :)

MAE

"Someone Else's Arm's"

Two days and I’ve not slept a wink
with these thoughts that I’ve been thinking.
This is the mark I aim to miss. (again)

You toss and turn, I lie awake,
who knows what I’ve been drinking.
another cheap, meaningless kiss. (to give)

From the beginning,
dulled down and lost with all its charm.
I just wanna wake up, wake up in someone’s…

I just wanna wake up. [4x]

Six days and I can see the same
brown eyes in this reflection.
Is this the man you say I’ll be? (become)

You toss and turn, I lie awake,
into the sand were sinking.
Holding us back from breathing free (I'm done)

From the beginning,
dulled down and lost with all its charm.
I just wanna wake up, wake up in someone’s…

I just wanna wake up. [8x]

More than words you keep to yourself.
Like a curse that fares thee well.

One man came, one truth to tell.
All this blame, hammers your way to hell.

I’ve got a feeling it’s not the safest place to start.
This heavy breathing, it seems, we’re better off breaking hearts.
From the beginning, dulled down and lost with all its charm.
I just wanna wake up, wake up in someone’s…

I just wanna wake up. [8x]

I just wanna wake up in someone else’s arms.