Darker Days

Some people feel that when I call them up to make an appointment with them, I become just 'one of those' insurance agent, out there to sell them something. Just another sales man like those dvd sellers or people walking around asking for donation.

So I subconsciously become ' at their feet'. They agree to the appointments, and when things doesn't turn out according to their schedule they call me up and cancel it the last minute.

Let me explain how people in my career do things. In order secure 1 appointment, it takes us around 4-5 rejections. To secure 3 per day, we take in around 10-15 rejections daily. After that, we jot it down our diary, arrange the appointments so in the way that we're not too far from each appointment to save petrol and toll.

So. When we get a call canceling an appointment, we find ourselves..stuck. Stuck in between appointments without anything to do and no place to go. Our time is wasted. Our chance is gone. Again, we are not paid a salary. If we don't get the volume of interviews, we don't get the chance to secure deals. We don't get money to live.

But we have no right to protest. Because, the client is always right. So, we need to smile and sound cheerful while saying" It's ok, Mr/Ms So and So, we'll do it another time la."

Sighs.

A veteran GSM insurance agent told me, " Insurance agent is a noble profession. People won't appreciate you till they look for you for a death or sickness claim. You're not an insurance agent until you experienced a death claim."

I've no doubts about this career.

But these are the darker days.

My bank account is getting thinner and I haven't gotten my breakthrough.
Bills are coming in..
People are friends with me till I talk about what I do and they start to avoid me like a plague.
I'm....alone...most of the time.
I get cranky easily on the road nowadays..
I nearly beat up a security guard for clamping my car..
I'm fighting myself every minute of the day...
Trying to go against myself. Trying to change into someone better..

The thing is..I have to smile and be cheerful when I'm doing my job.
when hell is happening inside.

These are the darker days..

Lord, walk with me..

Someone. Anyone.

Ja.