Realization

It wasn't till I was called out to the front to be prayed for, it wasn't till we had an Industry Training briefing that I realize that I'm going to leave this place, soon. I'm going to leave my campus life, soon. Just like many of our past seniors, life will continue to move on once we move away. Some are never heard again, some once in a while. They continue with their lives, MMU will continue with its.

I remember when I first came in. Jack Ling and Jason Ding were the two seniors which I'm closest with, one of the reasons being that I started to join actstream with them. and then there was Daniel Tan, Ndibu, and more. They seem so old, so respectable. Looking at them, the feeling I had was they are really big kokor and big cheh cheh. So mature.

And now I'm in the same boat they used to be. And I don't think I'm even living up to the name 'final year student'. I mean, I don't feel like so old, so mature or watever. I'm just the same me. Was it just me, or am I really disappointing myself, and my juniors? I don't know. When I was young, when I pictured myself turning 21, I imagined that I would have been a young adult, maybe being able to drive around in KL, maybe with a girlfriend ( :P) , and so on...so on...But when I turned 21, nothing. I was quite depressed actually on my 21st birthday, if anyone remembered. I felt that I had been such a loser. I guessed turning 22, 23, the feeling became numb already. hah.

As I stood with the others during CF that day, a feeling of proud and regret overcame me. Proud that we are heading the finishing line in this chapter of our lives together, and yet regret as it's ending. 3rd semester will be the moment where all of us will 'reunite' for the last time. You know that kind of feeling, when you stepped into MMU, and you looked over your shoulder, and there's everyone? Now, it's stepping out of MMU, and everyone's still there. It's like we made it, together. But gradually, most of them will fade away, one by one, when we continue our own journey.

Well, come to think of it, I've grown a lot. How? well, I not too sure myself. heh. I'm coming to an end to another chapter in my life, in the near future. I don't know what it will be like, when I leave. My closest friend during my secondary school life became my most distant friend. My normal friends during those times became one of my closest friends here. Everything is not known.

I'm going to work in penang soon. I'm no more a 'student' for the moment.I'm into that class of 'working' people soon. The realization has started to sink in. Took me longer, but its on to me now.


sighs.