Seeking

I came to penang seeking answers to many questions. And somehow these questions started to pop up in my mind ever more frequently.

Few of my questions are like

Where would I go in the future?

What would I do?

Where would I stay?

Would I ever find a person to love? And who loves me back?

Call it whatever you like. I used to call these people desperate. After being out in the working world, where friends are a handful, then you'd start to understand what I mean.

Anyway, questions started to 'stew' in my mind. I started looking around me. Work place. Church. Engineering. Friends. Money. Opportunities. Promotion.Life partner. More. More. More...

And I started to lose it.

I guess the more I looked, the more I got confused. The more I find it hard to find these answers.I became desperate and depressed. I started to feel hopeless.

I prayed.

Hard.

and prayed again.

Somehow as I prayed, as I started to seek for more, my prayer started to change.

And somehow faith arises.

I started to turn my eyes to a different direction.

Instead of praying of how I can make it in the world,
I started thanking God and praising Him that He loves me.

Instead of praying that I can succeed in the eyes of the world,
I started to pray that I succeed in the eyes of God

Instead of worrying where I would settle down,
I started trusting in His perfect plans for me.

Instead of searching for answers,
I started searching for Him.

and.

Instead of praying that God send me someone suitable for me,
I started praying that God will make me the man suitable for her.

Trust and faith are fragile words.

Even more than precious silver.

Jesus, these are fragile and precious things which I've kept and guarded so tightly for so long.
I open my hand and hand it to you.

Thank you.

:)