inner voice

*people chatting and yapping in the background*

LL : Hey why are you so quiet?
me : *trying to think of answer quick* erm..cos I'm not noisy? so lame..
LL : *opens mouth to answer my remark, but suddenly something else caught her attention*
me : ..........


tight. too tight.

Am I trying too hard? Am I trying in vain? Am I doing it wrongly?

still not used to this, despite having seen so much.

I wonder if I'm about to make a big mistake in my life.

I wonder if one day it's gonna be my turn to end up in blood and metal.

Have you ever tried telling somebody something so bad, but you can't cos you can't find the opening?

Sometimes it takes more than a simple ' how are you'...

Not everyone is like a can of drink where you just pop the cover and everything just oozes out..

I wonder if my car will get stolen one day..

I wish one day I can forget how it feels like to being left out...

Some people see that I have a good job. a car. bla bla...

Don't you see that you have so much more than me.

Things which money can't buy.

One day I might fall. Fall real hard.

They say the higher you climb, the harder you fall.

I don't expect people to catch me. Actually I don't know of anyone who might catch me either.

It's ok. to be honest, I didn't give that much anyway. It's fair.

I wonder if I'll change..

Remember the feeling? When you've put in everything you've got, and turns out your best is not enough?

I remember. Your knees turned weak. And you felt like every bit of your strength has been drained and sucked out of you.

It's called ' Hopeless'.

I wonder...

if my boss will give me more work if not I'll keep 'wandering' till time to go back. heh.

Tight. Just. Too. Tight.