Life

Was at pg yesterday and today wif benny, wl, 'oh mai khan kevin', wai choong. we went EPCC. we ate. and we ate. and we ate some more. twas a 'fulfilling' makan trip. heh.

everyone is moving on. somehow. I am too I guess. Went for 4 interviews. Ended up with 3 offers. on the spot. Hmm..I can't help thinking is it a really that low requirement job or they really did like me? heh..Wat I'm doing? I'm going into sales engineering. May sound like a loser. I dunno. I've thought long and hard. I don't think I'm gonna change it. Had some really harsh comments from some people went I told them about it though. Some said ' sales engineering? where got future? tell me where can you go from there? if got future I would have been it long time already.' I didn't show it. But I was kinda hurt by that comment. It might be true. But it took me a lot of time and guts to make that decision. heh. whatever. dowanna justify myself here.


Interviews. I had 4 , in fact 5 in two days till I can almost predict the questions they're gonna ask you. There was a question asked by my interviewer that got me thinking till now. He asked' What is it that you want in life? What is important in your life? What do you consider a success? ' Try asking yourself this question, just with no time to think it through and one pair of eyes staring at you waitin for the answer. Honestly, try asking yourself this question. Don't give me the answers we're 'programmed' and taught to answer. etc: God, serving God..bla bla...think it through first.

I can't deny that there were a few times I imagined myself climbing the corporate ladder, earning big bucks...marrying a beautiful and wonderful wife, having 3,4 wonderful children...while still serving God in church..doing the normal things you see our church uncles and aunties do...life sounds good right? It this what I want in life?

Life's short. It hit me in the face when I was driving that day and we came along a funeral procession. They were 'walking the dead' for the final mile or something. I came to thinking..life...my life..how do you wanna use it? how do you wanna spend it? only one chance.

With this new job, will I be able to walk where God wants me to? sales. long nights. hard work. running around. how do I glorify God and live according to His will ? I don't wanna end up facing God in heaven one day, and say' erm..God..Hi. Sorry I forgot all about doing what you want me to do..erm...I made a million bucks though. I'm CEO of bla bla...'

.....................


On another note, it was good to be around friends in KL again. Or it was what I thought it would be. Everyone seems so near, and yet feels so far too. Maybe it's just me. Have you ever been in a situation when sometimes you try to enter a group or circle of friends, but upon seeing that they're so tight and close to one another, you just feel that it doesn't matter what you do, you'll never be able to get in? Maybe it's just me again. heh. And you're left with no one. Sometimes smiles and hugs don matter anymore. It's become something exterior. It's the interior that matters. I'm sick of it. maybe stepping out was a bad idea after all..


It was good having fresh faces during that two weeks in the foreign land...maybe it's what I should do now..a fresh beginning...free from the past...free from your past...free from..yeah..you too...


ciaoz.