Dancers of the drums

Recently I met up with an old, old friend of mine during a wedding. We chatted about so many things. And we go back such a long way. My best times during that time were with him and a few more childhood friends. One of the things that stayed strong in my mind till now, which I'll never ever forget, was performing with him in front of big crowd, playing and singing 2 songs. We sang Jesus Freak and In the Light by Jars of clay. I played and sang. Had a cordless mic around me. We played a year after that in the same youth concert. Our band. It was awesome.

I was 15. He was our bassist and vocalist.

We started chatting, and he asked wether I'm still in the 'band' business. I said I was. He wasn't. The question he asked was ' Do you see any future in this?' He asked , would it earn me money in the future? I said quite impossible. He replied, ' Then it's for fun?' And I said, 'self fulfilment.'
And he said' Then it's just a more sympathethic word for 'fun'.

I didn't disagree. Though it's enough to puncture anyone so gearing up for this business. All these, all my practices, all my money, all my effort....if there's no future, then is it only for fun? or 'self-fulfilment'?

Yes. I would say self fulfilment. self satisfaction. self joy. syok sendiri. Everytime I look at bands playing to crowds, everytime I see the crowd singing along, it stirs something within me. It adds fuel to the flame. And everytime I imagine and fantasize myself playing there, it's like seventh heaven.

Sometimes I think I'm crazy. I go for practices alone. I searched out the studio alone. Introduced myself to all the malays there. Went for practices with a bleeding broken toe. Went for practices when I 'm dead tired and it's raining outside. There's nobody waiting for me at the studio. Spent an entire afternoon and lotsa petrol trying to find a particular music shop. Went home disappointed. Took MC. Searched again. And found it at last. Forked out so much money.
My malay friends there let me jam there for free now. Not because I so 'friend friend' with them. But because they realized I'm not a 'play play one time jam oni' guy.

All by myself.

Yea, I think I'm crazy.

There must be something that drives me. Passion. Passion.

Passion.

I'm passionate. When I get really passionate about something. I do stuff like this.

My goal. My dream. Cos you see, I don't think it's so far away anymore. Each step is a step closer to it. I came to penang all fired up all this. After 3 months. I'm even more fired up. It hasn't died down at all. I didn't need much encouragement from anyone else. In fact, most people think I'm a dumbass engrossing myself into all these.

Do you know why I chose drums? Because if you look properly, whenever a good drummer plays the drum, it's as if he's dancing on it. Both hands and feet swinging, and the body rocking to the rhythm. Everytime before worship, whenever I prayed for God to help me play, I always felt God just saying ' Dance for me, my son.' :)

I wanna be a Dancer of the Drums. :)