Fulfillment

It's funny how questions flooded my mind in the aftermath of last weekend. People see me stoning, partly it's cos I was exhausted, but mostly, it was because questions came by waves, bombarding me...questions I've yet to find the answers..

Funny how, when you worked for something so bad, and when you got it, it turned out to be nothing much at all...Would you be devastated?...or would you turn to some where else? ...or would you try again..?

All my life I thought I always wanted this...

Now I'm not so sure anymore..

Sighs. I'm not good at expressing my feelings through typing words. If you know me well enough..keke..

I've yet to find fulfillment. I'm still seeking..Or maybe it was there all along but I chose to ignore it?

Anyway, one thing is, if anyone noticed, I chose to wear ' 1 chronicles 14:11'. Not that I wanna show everyone that I'm a christian, but to remind myself, of who gave me this gift and talent..and to always keep my feet on the ground, the reason why I first held the drum sticks.

Glory and fame does not appeal to me at all. In fact the less people know of me, the better. And it's weird, but till now, I still don't know how to deal wif people complimenting me. I get stuck for words to say. My face gets red, and I mumble some stuff and hope that they change the subject.

Maybe one day I might take a direction where people would label me as foolish. Maybe one day I might take a drastic decision that it would really sound stupid. Heh. Maybe..

I did something funny yesterday the moment I woke up. I looked up, and gave up the one thing I think I'm good at to Him. To the extend, that even if one day He wants to take it away from me, I would have to give it up. Take away the sticks. Take away sitting there and kicking and whacking the drums. It's gonna hurt real bad. Buthen again, He gave. He can take away as well.


Till now, I've yet to find fulfillment..Different people are motivated by different things. I've yet to find mine...but don't worry, to you guys who are in the same business with me, I'd give a few months or at least a few weeks notice of any drastic decision..:p

Oh ya. To AVE. It's been a blast. I'm not saying it because I have to.
It's because I mean it. :)