KNIFE!

I went under the knife yesterday.
Surgery.

I had to remove a cyst just below my back. How and when it all started, I'll just spare the details now. A bit too lazy and in a lil pain now from my wound to explain the whole thing. It was all done in a day. From the consultation, to the blood test, ultrasound, warded, operating theatre, discharged.

Everything was still ok till two nurses came with a stretcher. It is time.

I changed into my operating gown. And they made me lie down and pushed me from 4th floor to 1st floor.

I remember gazing at the moving ceiling lights. The stares I got from everyone. Everyone always stares at a person on a stretcher.

Felt like a weakling.

Mum followed till the Operating Theatre. Once entered, everything felt different. It longer felt like a hospital. Just like the movies. Just that this time it kept occuring that it's me, it's me.

People no longer felt familiar. All I could see were human figures with surgical masks and gloves. They push me into a room. There was a metal table. I was shifted onto that. There were big lights. They asked my name, my weight and all. They checked my hospital tag.

And again I was rolled to the next room. This time the surgery room. The surgeon came up to me and smiled. Said everything was gonna be ok.

I was saying the only psalm I knew. The Lord is my Shepherd, I shalt not be in want. He makes me lie beside still waters..

They stretched out both my arms as though I'm gonna be nailed on a cross. And straped them. After that they started inserting needles and sticking wires. Felt a sharp pain right across my wrist.

Even as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death..

I was some nurses standing patiently watching me. And there were some who were busy setting everything up. The two surgeons were chatting with one another. Just another day of work for them.

Suddenly a nurse took a mask and placed it into my nose and mouth.

'Breath in' she says.

I took a few breathes. Hey, still not yet knocked out also.

Last thing I saw was a face with a surgical mask..

'Wake up, Joshua.'

Woke up seeing the surgeon's face again.
And a sharp pain where the surgeons cut me up.

It took one and a half hours.

Thank you for those who msg-ed and called and said a lil prayer for me.

There was peace in my heart throughout the whole process.

You know, once you experienced it, it's something so totally different.

Sometimes we can have everything in our lives planned out so nicely. I have a 'new home' waiting for me back in USJ. Gigs coming up next month. A band to fly with. A career I just stated pursueing. Even a new leadership role in church...

But life can be so fragile.

And all these doesn't matter anymore. Thank God what I had was nothing cancerous.
And you start to realise that what's on this earth is not so important anymore.
And you question yourself, what are you doing all these for?

Lives.Lives.Lives.

Not money. Not a bigger car. Not another project. Not even a better future.

The first thought that came into my mind when I realise I had a growth.
' This is not happening to me.'
I was in a state of denial. Felt like it was a dream.

The after-life. Where do we go after this. Where what we've worked for so long will have to be left behind.

Lives. We have to reach them and let them know. We have to.

Listen to me.

Ja.