Thoughts Unleashed.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Recovery

2 weeks ago I busted my knee playing futsal. Tore my meniscus in the process. Was on crutches for the first few days, went for MRI scan and doc told me I had to go for surgery. While wincing that I need to go for a surgery, I still thank God that no bones were broken, no ligaments were torn.

So I went for surgery last Saturday and here I am now a week later, and I can walk already, though still limping like an old man.

"Recovery" started the moment right after impact from the injury on the futsal field. Ever since then, my body's just going thru a lot just to recover back to the second before impact. And I'm still in this midst of "Recovery". My leg's lost all it's strength after surgery, I can't walk properly, I can't jump, I can't run. Climbing stairs is an effort. Besides that, ulcers as big as the craters on the moon started to developed in my mouth due to my body going through stress post surgery. My throat hurts every time I talk or laugh. I can't eat properly, and the pain I experience whenever I put something in my mouth is unbearable.

It's funny when you're strong and healthy you seem to forget the ability to do all those things with ease. When I was lying in the hospital, I envied all those nurses that could walk. I watched the people in TV, and wondered how miraculous that those people could run and jump. When eating, I envied those who could just gobble down their food and enjoy every taste without wincing in pain.

When lying on the steel metal waiting to be hosed up and cut opened, you can't help but wonder about life. You feel frustrated inside, and ask yourself why are you here when there's so much to be done.

When recovering at home, I felt useless that I can't even walk properly, that I had so much difficulty just to put on clothing.

Recovery. I guess it's not only physical.