Excited. Geared up.

This is gonna be a quick one. and probably one which would not stay updated for a long time. Really crazy month coming up.

Just finished IF camp. Here's my crazy schedule.

28-31 IF camp
1-4 Kuantan
5-10 Training for missions( mlk)
11-15 Alor Setar
16-28th Phillipines

I can't even apply for any job cos I won't be around for any interview. Having a slight flu now. :( And today's the start of so many things to come. Pray for me. :(

I'm in charge of a 'mini concert' for the phillipines mission trip. It's not supposed to be on the menu, but out of the blue, we were given the 'honors' of doing one. I'm in charge of the entire thingie, not only the band. Didn't really thought about it till last sunday in church, when I felt God tugging at my heart to take this concert seriously.

I'm starting to believe in this concert thingie. Christian concerts play a big part of my life. I've been to many, and even served as backup singer and drummer since I was a teenager. Even prayed for people during altar calls.

This event is big. It's the size of GIGs my church does. estimated crowd is 300-500 people. And the people in my church conducting it are pros. And they still practice and prepare for it well. We? We're a scrap group of people. Not meant to be prepared for concerts. It looks overwhelming. But you know what? I'm not afraid or worried. I believe in this team. Cos God placed it on our hands. It means He knows we can do it. I believe that there will be souls saved that night. People taking up challenges. People running back to God. People being refreshed. Ministed. I believe it. not because of us. But because God is with us. REVIVAL. Revival. Revival. The dead will arise. The blind will see. I'm dreaming big. Cos our God is big. Pray with me, if you also hope to see the lost sheep saved. Pray with us. A lil prayer. :)


I'm excited and geared up for this trip. Looking forward to doing whatever we can in Phillipines. To see how God can use us over there. Putting everything aside for this. Whatever concerns and worries, I'm putting it aside for now. Gonna focus on this.


I always thought that in the future God might use me this way. Music. Vibrant worship. A group of people, a band, coming together, playing music that changes and impacts lives for God. I know I wouldn't act on it unless I get a green light from Him. Maybe...this is..a start of something. a stepping stone. a sign. training. I don really know. Maybe. Cos it's really out of normal context. concert included in a mission trip ??? from a CF somemore. we're not even a church.

We'll see how everything happens. I'm fired up. Please pray for us that ALL of us pass with good results so that we can all go. Some of us are worried. :(

Till I blog again. Cheerioz. Take care everyone.

*hopefully we can watch world cup there. LOL*

Tribute

I'd like to dedicated this post to David Gary, my music mentor and trainer all these years.
During practice today at actstream I finally had a session of 'correction' by DG. It's been a while since someone comes and give it to me that I'm not playing well. Not being anything here, so far all I get is good comments on my playing. Thanks a bunch. But sometimes I need to someone to come along and say' Hey, today u play suck la. What's up wif you?' hahahah...sounds stupid rite...Dunno....

Some info on joining actstream, to those who are considering joining. :) Humility and willingness to learn is the most important thing. This means you are willing to take in 'not so nice' comments and teaching in order to improve. Does it hurt your ego? haha. of course baybeh. Some of us were like 'kings and queens' in our own church in terms of playing before coming here. Come here? haha. chi kek. You are demoted to nothing. Start from square one. You learn to eat the humble pie. Ask the ppl who are in. :P Not scaring anyone. But you wanna improve? This is how and where you can.

DG taught me lotsa stuff. I can say 40% of my playing is influenced by him. Went through tough times with him last time. But it was well worth it. Did it hurt? heh. of course babybeh. but it was well worth it. I listen to him always. Still do it now. 10 ppl give comments, I will remember his the most.

Today I didn't play well. Maybe I was relaxing too much. I don't know. But check this out. After the prac, everyone went off. DG for no apparent reason, took up his 'old bass' the Yamaha RBX, said' Hey, long time nvr play this bass d.' He tuned up the volume, and started grooving. I had already packed my sticks and was jz ready to ciao, when I looked at him, gave a grin, yanked out my sticks, and started grooving with him. it was...AWESOME!! I couldn't take away my grin all the time. The feeling...this feeling..of grooving with the bassist...I haven't tasted it for sooooo long...no offence, but till now which ever bassist I play with, doesn't compare to this. I was playing wif DG again! AFter so long....I became a different player altogether suddenly...after we finish...DG said' how come jz now you didn't play like that?'....heh...hey..who wouldn't play like the wind if you were grooving and riding the waves wif david gary?

To david gary. the most awesome bassist I have the priviledge to jam with. *thumbs up*

Updates

As i'm typing this, there's cool cool gentle breezing blowing..the weather is wet and cold...I'm having Incubus-I miss you on my speakers...yeah..I might be 'feeling' it a bit for this post..so...if you are against 'emo' posts or anything...you can now leave by all means ..:p

Since the weather and mood is playing tricks to my mind and heart...I'll just blurt out whatever that goes across my mind...we'll see how far and how crazy this goes..:p...


I am who I am. I am me. I'm not like someone else. I can't be someone else. I woudn't want to be someone else. God made me what I am. Sounds stupid ? Haha...not actually. Always find your identity in Jesus. Sometimes we wanna be someone else. We wish we are like him or her. We wish we have what he or she has too. We think we are better with him or her.Maybe it pleases other people. Don't. Don't find ur identity in someone else. No matter how good or strong the person may be, never place ur identity on simple and mere human. It may sound cliche, yet many people still do it. I sometimes find myself thinking the same way. Don't. Jesus never disappoints. He never fails. He might test, but He never fails. :) Get it into your system.


It's funny how when your friends are around, you used to talk about 'not-so-tension' subjects. Football, band, movies, music..anything...Now...we talk about money...jobs...security...life partners..insurance..marriage even...and it's so weird so see your friends buying cars...buying even property and shares.....last time, the most expensive stuffs we used to get are probably our PC's..heh..mebe a guitar or two..


I'm afraid that I might get caught up in making money when I enter the working world. Afraid that greed might take over. Afraid that I might start comparing myself to others, and find others doing so well.

I was bringing up this issue during my quiet time. And God showed me the verse where Jesus said " Store up your treasures in heaven". Yea. probably some of you are saying in your hearts' that I might be too cliche. I haven't been in that situation of temptation. I'm too naive.

well, I say at least give me this chance to be naive then. give me this chance at least, to hope. and to pray. and to hope. cos...at the end of the day...I don't wan to have glorious fortune and wealth for 70 years, and have only a penny for eternity.

I have a problem of intimidation. yupz. I really think the music and weather is messing me up now. Confessing now my weaknesses pula. :p But I'm not confessing out of anything. I'm telling it to everyone, cos I always go back to this. :) -->" Be sure to do what you should, for then you will enjoy the personal satisfaction of having done your work well, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else. Gal 6:4" (NLT version.)

You know something? I have good friends!! Yes I do. Don't take your good friends for granted. It took me 4 years to develop good friends. Friends, I have many. Good friends. Not really.
( hey it rhymed!) Sometimes I think it's my upbringing and me, that I don't open up easily. I make a lot of jokes. But sometimes the loudest people are the loneliest. A friend of mine actually said he envied me, cos he sees my life, and said I have good friends surrounding me. He said it's amazing that I can these friends without having a car. Why? Because he's experience times when people are good to you, only because you have four wheels.

He's have far more 'fun' than me. Done real ' chi kek' stuff. No doubt. I feel so 'kuai chai' when they tell me about their 'adventures'. Thing is, they don't understand the word friendship and brother/sister hood. They have 'money' friends. I'd rather have good friends and let go of any nice 'adventures' thank you. :) Thank you, Jesus. :)

Ok I don't think I can blog anymore. My screen is dying on me. Everything's blue. :( I left my cap in serdang. I think it's blowing out radiation. My eyes feel tired after a while staring at it.

Something before I leave. I treasure encouragements. those small small words of fuel to my life. the pats on the back. the warm hugs. the smiles. maybe sometimes I don't look like I need it. but it goes a long way when I receive it. thank you. :)

We grew up..:)

Our first 'gig' together in our beta year. It was a farewell for our seniors.


3 years later.....



We grew up..heh..

This time, it's our own farewell...

heh...mixed feelings...:)

Grace

Have you ever experience...like...your walk with God became too smooth? It's like your devotion time with God has become natural in your lifestyle, and everything is smooth sailing, you serve God in church, you're learning stuff from sermons and quiet time...bla bla...nothing much happening...

and sometimes it can come to a point where you become complacent with God...and u get 'gatal' and restless...and you ask God for 'stuff' to happen in your life...ever did that before?

Ok. take it from me. try not to do that next time. heh. :p

I kinda did that.

I'm sharing this, not because of anything, but for only one reason, that is to say how God is real to me. It's not something I'm proud of. But then again, Jesus deserves this more than my shame.

I was barred from finals because of my attendance. It was 70%. As we only have 20 classes, only one more attendance to class would have made it to 75%. Last wednesday me and a friend went to the assoc. dean's office to appeal. Anyone would have understood it, a final year student, with one last semester and 70% record, an appeal wouldn't be such of a problem. We went in quiet confident.

He didn't wanna approve us. FYP wasn't an excuse. He just didn't wanna. We gave all the reasons. He didn't wanna except. We would have to approach our lecturer. My heart sank. Everything just flashed before me. After so far, I couldn't grad???

We went to find our lecturer. He wasn't really kind enough either. Our mid terms weren't good. So, suddenly he yanked out a piece of white paper, gave it to us, and said" Ok. Write down chapter 5." I was like...whAT?? I coudln't recall anything. Partly cause I didn't really pay attention in class. And even if I did, I'm not so good enough to write down stuff so spontaneously.

I coudln't write a single thing. One hour sitting there, he asked me chapter after chapter. Midterms. I can't remember a thing though I studied for it. It was like 2,3, months ago? It was like the longest hour in my life. In my heart I was literally begging God to get me through. Well, I didn't make that quiz. After appealing and begging, he gave me a 2nd chance. He gave me two hours to study all six chapters. Come back to his office after that, and take the quiz again.

I have my FYP presentation that day later in the evening. My slides needs patching up. I haven't gone through my theories. ..

You know, when situations get bad, sometimes you feel like you can still come out of it? sometimes you feel like you can still a glimpse of light? But as it gets worse, you find the glimpse slowly becoming dimmer, and comes to the part where all hope is lost. And all strength is drawn from you cos you feel so hopeless. I only felt that once before in my life.

6 chapters in two hours. Knowing that if you can't make it through the next quiz, you might not graduate. Knowing that you might see all your friends graduating and you have to stay back. The mental stress is overwhelming. And somemore, studying engineering has been my weakness all this 4 years. It's like using your weakness to save your worst problem.

I'm not a person who really shares his problem so easily to everyone. I always don wanna 'mafan' people. But this time, I had to call up people to pray for me and intercede for me. Actually it was 2 people. heh. not many too.

Back to the story. I tried to cram in as much as I could. I called up people to teach me. Fast. I still managed to keep a certain amount of calm during that time. 2pm I went back. Again. blank paper. This time. all 6 chapters. I scribbled as much as I could. Then he started asking questions. Specific questions. How could I answer? 6 chapters in two hours. I could only cover general stuff...I was speechless.

How could I possibly come out of this situation?

Well. There were two others there. One fella sitting beside me started begging non stop and appealing. I wanted to chip in, but didn't have the chance. So I kept quiet. So he went on and one and on. It went like half an hour. And when I thought it's gone case. Suddenly the lecturer said " Ok. Can you promise me that you study up and see me next week? Then I will find an excuse to help unbar you."

Of course say yes la. Then he looked at me, and said the same thing. Of course say yes again la.
So he highlighted our names. And said ok.

...........

My war wasn't over. I couldn't rejoice yet. I looked at my watch. 3.15pm. Presentation at 4.20pm. I rushed back. Touched up my slides. Went over it in like 10 mins. Rushed for my presentation.

Before presentation, there was problem wif the USB port. Computer couldn't read my slides. All the problem of emailing it actually delayed my presentation for 10 mins. The moderator and supervisor had to sit and wait for me. For anyone, it would be disastrous. But after getting so much impact already for that day, heh, I was just too numbed to care.

I expected the worst actually. From the previous presentation, I was shot down by the moderator left,right, centre, till I wanted to give up presenting even though I haven't finished. I was prepared to just say' Sir, I don't know' if I really don't know.

The Presentation went smoothly. Too smoothly. Partly was because they were really tired. And, when the moderator started asking questions, guess what, my supervisor answered for me!! I didn't answer a single question!! He even took out a piece of paper, and drawed some stuff explaining it to my moderator. heh..

After the presentation, I went to the previous lecturer's office. He said I was unbarred. Everything was ok...

........

I just wanna say, that I got something I didn't deserve. Yes. It was my fault that I didn't attend class. It was also my fault that I didn't touch up my slides earlier. My fault that I didn't really follow the class syllabus.

But God came and rescue me. Only by grace and mercy, that I came out alive from the situation. My parents were fasting for me. There were people praying for me. I couldn't remember how many times I begged God to get me through.

And Jesus came and rescue me.

It really is a miracle, how I got through it. I'm just so thankful. I know when people share about how God has been real to their lives, some people tend to feel left out..I know the feeling.. I get it too..But remember this, that don't give up expecting God to show up real in your life..cos He will.He wants to...don't give up. :) And when you experience it, share it to others. As an encouragement...to yourself, and to others...and you will experience praising God in a whole new different way...you will feel closer to Him, like He's your best pal..:)..And you wouldn't trade Him for anything else..:)

Oh ya, next time, be careful when you ask God for...erm..'stuff' or 'excitement' to happen in your life. Oh, He'll give it to you alright. :) nahh..just joking...heh..What's life without a lil pinch of salt? :P