Live for the moment..

This is it..this weekend..

So far, for the all the gigs and events I've played in, I haven't felt this nervous and jittery. I was the ice man. hAha.

Oh ya, maybe the only time I had butterflies in my tummy was at the Philippines. Our last concert, which had about 300++ people. During that time, I remember me and ah teoh,
we were pacing back and forth behind everyone minutes before we went up, trying to keep ourselves calm. Remember, ah teoh?

I just realised why I'm such a nervous wreck now. I get all tingly and restless when I know that I'm playing in an event where God is gonna work so mightily. Till now, event for the previous BOTB, I don't really feel a thing, cos it's just another gig. Even for recording, I don't feel that way either.

Getting goosebumps all over now.

I'm playing one of the loudest instrument on stage.

*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaa......*


breathe....breathe....

Thank You for bringing me to this stage. to this level.
from a small little town, to...this.

Hey you, remember our little chat that day?
It's not because we're so great at what we do. It's cos we gave our 5 loaves and 2 fishes to Him.
And He multiplied it, to feed the five thousand. Did you know that's the estimated number of people attending? :)

I remember watching a united live concert video few years back. I was so moved watching it that it stuck to my head for a few days. All I felt was,

Lord I want to be there. I want to play for You, just like this, and nothing else.

Thank You, for making my greatest desire come true.

Folks, if you wanna do something for God, He doesn't have a problem giving it to you. Heck, everybody wants to do stuff for God too. The only difference is, how badly do U want it.

I can hear the defeaning sound of the crowd roaring and cheering now.
I can see the sea of faces waiting in anticipation now.
I can hear people shouting " Jesus! Jesus!" now.
I see the moving spot lights dancing around now.
I can see hundreds of people jumping like waves now.
Most importantly, I can see people's lives set free, and breakthroughs like the gushing water.

It is time for me to take my place. My hands and feet are itching to be unleashed.

I live for moments like this.

Come and join me.

Ja.

Funny how..

It's funny how..

with the amount of sales I've managed to secure, he's still not happy with me, and in a little while more as I will be entering his office, I wouldn't be surprised if I'm given a marching orders...

Did you know..

everytime I let you down, it's because it's something new. and I never have a problem with the pass challengers cos I've overcame them one by one.

Did you know..

everyday I pray for maturity. and I realised that true maturity comes when you are able to handle new things such as the old..

Funny how...

you sometimes make me laugh. And I sometimes crack you up as well..

Funny how..

I feel that we're so alike. and yet so different at the same time..

Did you know..

It's the season of sowing? At where we are, at what we're doing, at our age, it's the time and place of sowing. It's not yet time of the reaping. Therefore we have to sow, and be patient in the reaping, for it will come, only and only if, we are FAITHFUL and diligent in the sowing process.
Wouldn't it be a disaster if we just sit back and relax now, and when the time of reaping has come, you have nothing to reap? It will be too late by then...

It is true..

that one plus one equals two.

It's just awesome..

that I'm just moving and growing in the Lord. I can't remember the last time when I lasted so long in the growth process. heh.

Did you realized..

the worst thing to ever happen to a person, is when the person is unteachable and not willing to learn? Many times I've to use this lesson, this principle to teach myself to eat the humble pie, even when I feel that I don't deserve it..

Does EVERYONE know..

that sometimes I don't really show it , or know how to show it, I do care for each and everyone of you, you and you. :)

It is a relief...

That me and my housemates, till now, we haven't mistakenly wore the wrong underwear.

Hehe.

Ja.

This weekend..

The poster says it all..Come join us. :)

Anyway, on another note..

It hasn't been an easy week for me actually. Especially this week.

Sighs. :(

Trying my best to be strong. Trying hard to swallow everything.

Ja.

Once upon a time..

jest·er (jěs'tər) Pronunciation Key
n.

1. One given to jesting.
2. A fool or buffoon at medieval courts.

There once lived a jester in a faraway land. Everybody loved the jester. Not only did he made the King laugh, he always entertained the villagers, the old folks, and even the little children. He loved the people, and the people, well, they 'loved' him. The jester would always hand out goodies to the poor, and whatever little that he had, he gave generously to those who needed it. But as one's nature as a jester, the people always saw him as what he was, a fool or buffoon. He was always there to make people laugh. To make their day. He played silly tricks, and made himself looked silly whenever he saw a gloomy face around. He was, indeed a fool or buffoon, given to jesting at the medieval courts.

The jester had a dad, though. A rich and powerful dad, actually. And the father loved his son tremendously. He wanted to shower all his riches and wealth upon his son. He just wanted to love him more everyday, to see him grow into a good, useful man.

But he had a problem.

The jester didn't want all that. Truth is, the jester was just happy having the people 'loving' him. He didn't need his father's love. He didn't need all the riches and blessings his dad had to offer him. For you see, all this time, the jester thought, that as long as the people loved him, he was just fine doing without dad. So time went on, and his dad tried ever so hard to reach him, but to no avail.

One fine day, the jester became seriously ill. It was a disease that had spread throughout his body, and it was slowly eating him from inside. The jester became sad. He needed help. He needed comfort. So he turned desperately to the villagers for care, and support. But sadly, everytime he tried telling a person about his illness, nobody cared. Nobody wanted to listen. For you see, it was hard for people to take him seriously. He was, a jester after all. He wasn't supposed to have all these. He was supposed to be happy-go-lucky. Problem-free to make people happy. Who would take a person wearing dangling bells and clown shoes, white make-up with a red silly grin painted on his lips and a red big nose seriously? And the jester, oh the jester couldn't appear without his make up and costume. Nobody would recognise him without it.

So everyday, with a body deteriorating, the jester had no choice but to put on his costume and make up, go into town and entertain the king and the people. Nobody knew the misery and torture he was going through. The people still 'loved' him. They still laughed and though how silly was he.

Till one night, when the jester's health was close to fatal, and when he had given up all hope, his father came by his bed, held his hand and said " Son, it's me."

The jester, weak as he may be tried resisting the father.

Suddenly, the father took out a piece of clothe, wetted it, and started to wipe off his son's make up slowly. Out came the painted smile. Out came the red nose. Out came the painted sparkly eyes. Till what was left, was his son as he had loved him all along.

The jester started to break down and cry.

The father, with loving eyes, said " Son, though nobody knew, though nobody cared, I knew it all along. I knew how you felt. I was there all along."

With tears strolling down his cheeks, the jester nodded and finally understood. For you see, he had been trying to find recognition and love from other people. And he had became devastated when everybody just received, but did not give back. But now, no longer would he need to depend on other people for security and identity. For his father, had been there for him all the while.

Quickly, the father summoned the best doctors in town, and in no time, the jester was up on his feet again, going around his daily routine of entertaining the town folks and little children. Nobody ever knew what the jester went through, but it doesn't matter, because now, the jester had found his one true love and peace, and he, saw him through the smiley grins, and the big red nose.

The end.

Ja.

Psalms 112

1^[a] Praise the LORD. ^[b]
Blessed is the man who fears the LORD,
who finds great delight in his commands.

2 His children will be mighty in the land;
the generation of the upright will be blessed.

3 Wealth and riches are in his house,
and his righteousness endures forever.

4 Even in darkness light dawns for the upright,
for the gracious and compassionate and righteous man. ^[c]

5 Good will come to him who is generous and lends freely,
who conducts his affairs with justice.

6 Surely he will never be shaken;
a righteous man will be remembered forever.

7 He will have no fear of bad news;
his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.

8 His heart is secure, he will have no fear;
in the end he will look in triumph on his foes.

9 He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor,
his righteousness endures forever;
his horn ^[d] will be lifted high in honor.

10 The wicked man will see and be vexed,
he will gnash his teeth and waste away;
the longings of the wicked will come to nothing.

It's as though the first time I found Jesus.
I have a powerful testimony. But probably I won't blog about it yet. Don't really have the time.
But let's just say everything I've been looking for, the word of the season for me has been given to me all in the verses above. And given to me dramatic style indeed. :)

Recently I realise a part of me which I need to change. Heck, there are many parts of me which needs changing. And I thank you for the people around me for pointing it out to me. Though it's not easy, I really want to change. I really want to overcome this part of me. Not just for anything or anyone, but for myself as well. I know I can do it, cos I have Jesus.

7 He will have no fear of bad news;
his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.

8 His heart is secure, he will have no fear;
in the end he will look in triumph on his foes.

Bear with me.

Ja.

Leading up to This..

I'm PlAYing!! I'm pLaYing...!!! *bounce* *bounce* *bounce*
Though it's not for the night concerts, I don't really care...~~ lAlaaLALa....

I remember my first time playing drums at my home church. Fact is, our church didn't even own a drum set then. Yea. 'Drumbeats' were supplied by using the organ. :P But there was a special event, and one of my dad's friend, the worship leader wanted to try out real drums. After somehow borrowing dunno-whos-drumset, he called me dad, and said:

' Eh, I heard your son taking drum lessons right? Can you ask him to play for me?'

I had only started lessons 1,2 months. And I think I was 13.

I remember the drums looked so huge back then. I was a nervous wreck. People at my church back then didn't like the drums. In fact, they hated it saying it was too loud. So there I was, a 13 year old nervous kid, sitting there, watching people giving me frowns the moment they spotted a drumset sitting on the stage. I mustered up my courage, took a deep breathe, and played my first beat..

The rest was history..

We bought a drumset ourselves soon after that..:)

I'm excited for playing for this. And when I say that, it is an understatement to how excited and how much I've looked forward to this all this while. I still remember last year I was the traffic warden. I remember there was a slight drizzle of rain. And I was stationed from the parking spots, till towards the evening, I had to stand outside the main road, holding a signboard, directing traffic. We stood there till it was dark. And as I stood there waving to the traffic, I could hear the loud booming noise coming from the stadium.

"Next year, it's gonna be me. I wanna be up there. I live for moments for this."

I remember stepping inside the stadium later, and enjoying Delirious performing. I remember too, the sound checks they did, and how I tried sneaking in to see how sound check was performed. I remember the shouts, the cheers and roars coming from the people. I remember seeing our own church drummers performing, and how restless I felt just watching them.

"Next year, I will work my way up there. "

I remember telling my band mates to set a target for themselves. And how I told them that my target was to play in this. I started out playing in a small little town of alor setar. Playing for our church choir performances. Yes. You heard me. You know those 'haaaa-llelujah' church choir stuff? yep. I had to play to the choir conductor waving both her hands like the classical music maestro.

And now I get to play in front of the whole nation. :)

I'm not boasting or anything. In fact, I'm HUMBLED in every way. In every area of my life, God has been teaching me the word Humility since I was young. So many examples. Even playing for my home church, I started out as the kid who had to shift the heavy drums week in week out as we share the same sanctuary as other services which don't use the drums. And even in actstream, where I went thru years of harsh training before I become what I am today. For cyber christmas or malam christmas, I started out as usher, then props team/back stage, before I eventually act on stage. As a young recruit in the uniform unit during my secondary school days, I got bullied around, and held on where all my friends left one by one, till I finished and earned my ranking...

Even till where I am now...with the bandmates I have...and with my work..even relationships...I believe God is still trying to nail in this value into my life..

And you know, when I look back, I come to realise that my achievements don't matter anymore. It's the process of achieving it that really matters most. It's so close to a principle and truth that I'm seeking God for the past few months now. I shall blog about that when I truly understood, and have applied it in my life. ;)

During practice yesterday, they played planet shaker's 'All Majesty' for us to listen. The moment I heard the screams, the roars, the music booming, the songs of praises coming out to God, I had goosebumps all over me. My fingers went cold. My heart beat faster.

I'm. so. excited.

Ja.

hohoho

I think it's not a big thing...but I just had to blog abt this ...this was wat happened on 4th January, 2007..




























yea...that..haha...aannd..check this out..
-start-
earlier scenario:

me eating indo mee with the leftover roast chicken from the house warming party..

2 hours later..

wl: yo. wat u got for dinner?
me: indo mee with the leftover chicken. try it. not bad ar.
wl: okie. proceeds to pangang the chicken.
later...
wl: dude...smells weird la..
me: got me? ok ar..
gh comes in..
gh: eh whats that smell?
wl: the chicken la...cacat ar the smell..
me: sure or not...i ate d wat jz now..ok wat..
wl: proceeds to take a bite. Dudeee...rosak d lar..taste bad man...bAd! chicken..bad chicken!..
me: .......
wl: haha..u ate rotten chicken..

-end-

during that time I was watching What Women Want on 8tv..basically it's a show about guys trying to become what women want...which bascially is a show for gals to gawk over gorgeous hunks strutting their stuff on tv...

so, to sum up my birthday in one sentence:

I spent my birthday eating indo mee wif rotten chicken watching What Women Want.

oh ya, on top of that, having my boss getting more and more impatient with my performance in the office.

Ooo-some.

hAHa...

don worry. I'm not emo or anything. I just find it hilarious. compared to last yr where I got so wasted...I had to take leave the next day....

erm..I think I shan't elaborate more on that...:P

Am looking forward to today. :)

Ja.

25

I turn 25 today.

Thank you all who sms-ed.

I always look older than my age. I used to be proud of that during my teenage years. But now it's getting on my nerves.

25.

Sighs.

Just another day at the office. no biggie.

I won't turn this into an emo post. Starting to realize my previous postings quite emo.

Take care, everyone.

Ja.