Random Thoughts

I found out that at least there's a handful of ppl who actually read my blog. Haha. Till now I thought the only person who reads this blog is me. nyahaha.

Random Thoughts. They come and go as they please. Some vanish after a while. Some remain in your head for a long time. So into it that I decided to jot it down. Maybe after jotting it down it will go away..? Let's try and see..

I had a sudden 'situation' when I imagined it was already the 3rd sem. When I tried imagining it, a feeling crept into my heart. It was a feeling of reluctance. And more. I felt that I haven't done enough. It's like doing something already but yet somewhere in your heart you feel that it's somewhat not complete. Hmm..


Surprised that 'masquearade' didn't draw a crowd which I thought it would. Met another hometown friend, who joined FES. She tagged along with Annette last Tuesday. Man, I'm meeting my hometown church friends all in 1 week? First Zhen Xin, then her. Chun.


Woke up yesterday morning coughing. Spat it out. Hey, is that blood? Oh cr*p it is. Tasted it again. YUp. Iron. I'm coughing blood now? Since when? How come my throat not sore wan? This is serious.


Falling sick jolted me from my mental slumber. Yup. My walk with God was slacking, my studies was sliding. I was oblivious to my surroundings. Apparently I tried putting it all away behind my back. Yup. If you know me well, sometimes I need someone to come around to kick me in the a** to wake me up. I'm up, I'm up. :D


I've taken health for granted too long. Recovering ain't easy after not falling sick for so long. Was groggy the whole week. at least for last week. how'd you guys go around so easily?


I found out ( long time ago) that I know a lot about BGR stuff. I've read books, heard CD's, went for conferences. Heck, I can even write a book about it myself. But tell ya something. I've no idea and not much experience when it comes to how to court a girl. Do's and don'ts, the consequences, what to look for, i'm pro man. Go court a girl you like? BANANA. BLANK. @_@
Oh yea, and another thing. Confidence? I've no problem about it, for MYSELF. But for a girl to find anything attractive about me? KOSONG. If I were a girl, I'd see myself as totally unattractive. I see nothing in myself that can make a girl attracted to me. I've got nothing. NIL. HAHa. Don't get me wrong i'm not indulging in self-pity. I have confidence in myself. But other people to see it? ......ok....I need help. :p


I really pray that I can do something I really love when I grad. I don't wanna reply when someone asks me how's my work, " erm..ok lar." I hope it's not like right now, when I'm just flowing along with my course. I wanna say ' I'm enjoying every minute of it.'


You know what's the hardest part of having a cough? It's the inablility to laugh. Yea, it's like you laugh halfway then *COUGH COUGH!!* then the joke's not funny anymore.


Having high hopes and flying dreams about this year's mission trip. I look at the team last tuesday when we first me, and I see problems in communicating and us working together as a team. But then again, I 'm not a pessimistic person. I see difficulties, but I also see a way out. I'd prefer to focus on that.

Some people talk a lot. And they dream big too. But they are unwilling to work for it. Dream will always remain a dream unless you put your hands into the plough. Feel it with your hands. Close your eyes. Now open it. your dream is now a reality cos you felt it with your hands. :) I'm talking to you, dude. You know who you are. Friends don't give you sweets all the time. They hand you vitamins which taste bad. Get the picture?


I could go on and on.....and on....and on.....

Letting go is not always bad.

..and on.......

People said I've grown thinner. At least from 3 different people.

My favourite dream is having a candle-light dinner with the person(girl lar) I love most. Accompanied by some slow jazz, romantic music. And after we jz dance. slow and intimate. No words.

SiGHHhhHHhhh......

ok it's the music playing on my pc now( steven curtis chapman-I'll take care of you) which is messing up my head.

But really, it is my favorite dream. :)

2 sems from now a huge chapter in my life will be closed. I have a feeling I'll cry in our final CF meeting. Hmpphh!!~ STAY STRONG BRO. BE A MAN. HMppHHh!! :D

Prayer Lighthouse is not turning so nicely. Everyone's so busy. Sigh.

Ok I really have to stop. Man, I'm on FIRE. :)) Hey it work! I'm not thinking abt it anymore...Oh wait....it's stuck in my head again. Maybe food will do the trick. Lunch time.

Astalavista, baby.

Cheerioz.

Haunted

In the back of mind, a question kept popping up in my head before I went. " Would you regret it?"
I thought I'm ok. I thought I was fine. It was all cool at first.

I went back feeling so frustrated, frustrated, irritated...a sort of feeling I've never had in a long time.

And I thought after getting a good rest, everything will be fine again. But why is it still haunting me? Why did I tossed and turned in my bed in a sleepless night? I sat up in the darkness, trying to shake off the screams and songs that were played. It kept playing in my head cruelly.

Yes, I know if wanna make it big we've gotta face disappointments before, we need to start practicing, bla bla.....cut the crap.

I look at my band members, other than my hometown friend, all of them are holding important responsiblities. Good ones. No offence, but holding too many eggs in your hand, sure they will drop. You either drop it, or forget about it.

2ndly, nobody has enough skills. admit it. Nobody can even start a simply groove during free jamming session. personal skills. Wanna make it big? Improve on it, YOURSELF. The hard way or whatever. I'm not saying I'm skillful, but I can at least say I've improved as a drummer ever since I took up my sticks here at cyberjaya since beta year. I couldn't do it myself, I had my 'si fu' David Gary training me. Through the hard way or another. Nobody would understand how I felt all those years of 'humbling' times. But he's a really good friend, and still my si fu. Always bringing out the best in me whenever we played together.

finally, something which I'm also disappointed to jot down. After yesterday, I don't think I'll ever have the time for it. Sure, I would like to work on everything. This semester is heavy on me. I'm taking an extra subject too. Huge assignments have started pouring in. Mid terms a-coming are a sign of 'no-more-happy-days.' I have FYP to worry about.

I'm lagging behind already. By a LOT. and cyberjaya is not a friendly place for bands. just the ratio of cyberjaya bands to malacca bands last night have said it. Trips to studios sucks up time, energy, and money. if we had maybe a nice studio by street mall, it would be a different tune altogether. I'm guessing it's easier for malacca bands, where it's not isolated from anywhere else. pg 165 have their youth centre. or their church.

The odds are heavily stacked, against us. At least, for me. I guess maybe it's time for me to keep my drum sticks into my bag. The only thing consoling me, which I cling on oh even more dearly now, is that I still, still have the chance to pull out my drum sticks and play it to my Father above. Everytime as I sit on my sit behind the drums in church, I always say a lil prayer before we start rocking. God always replies by saying " Dance for me on the drums."

At least, I get to dance on the drums.

test

testing 123

AYA, Acts Church and Me

I've been wanting to write in this entry since last weekend. But due to time constrain, ( yes I was really busy on Monday and Tuesday) I did not have the chance to.




See this? It's a pic I took with my hp when I was on for worship last Saturday. What's the point u may ask?

I first met Ps Kenneth Chin and Ps Sandra back in Alor Setar when they did GIG back at our local church there. They brought AYA team down too. There were dancers, real cool dances, and the band. They simply took AS by storm for God back then. I was totally awed. Then, few years later, I went to ROCK 2000. Again I was totally awed. To me, back then, Ps Kenneth and AYA was some really 'keng chao' organization with super keng chao team to help assist in taking back the youth of our nation for God. My perception for them was really, really good. And it still remains till now. :) All this while, never had it once occurred in my mind or in my wildest imagination, that one day I will be able to stand behind Ps Kenneth and be part of his team. :)

All this really hit me when I was sitting at the drums, with Ps Kenneth standing in front of me. I'm just in awe, again. But this time not about the same thing, but about the fact that God has placed me so much so that I have the opportunity to serve alongside AYA and Acts Church. I feel so priviledged, so blessed to have this experience. I wish I could take 1 picture with either Ps Kenneth or Ps Sandra in it, but it would be akward during that time. ;)

All I could say that sometimes our wildest dreams have come to past, and we don't even know we had it. Cherish every moment you have. :)

Oh ya, talking about that, we did recording!!



So it's another ' I-never-thought-it-would-happen-to-me' thingie again. :)
Cherios.

Coming together

We had this idea since beta actually. After getting inspired by seniors like Jason Ding, Colin Pal and Jack Ling, me and WL were actually starting to have dreams of making it big. But then I usually am the the one who backed out, having seen the magnitude of commitment, time and effort to put in it. Oh sure, the 'glory' is there, man. Having a 'band' sounds real cool. But with it comes a lot of patience, effort and money. yeah, you heard me, money.


Buthen again....


Since this year's my final year here, and so happens Battle of the Bands is in the first trimester, I decided to give it a shot, as it's my last chance. And so, the recruiting and....



one person...



two...


three...


four...

Person number 5 is my good ol' fren from Alor Setar. We once had dreams of forming a band since form 3. Sadly I forgot to take his picture.


and....


me.




Jamming


Till now, though is sounds quite cool the band members we have, I'm not sure whether we will even make it through the audition. Sighz. Forming a band in just 2 weeks before the competition is starting to show it's weaknesess. We could hardly gell, and most of us if not all of us are inexperienced in playing together. And trips to SS 15 at least twice a week ain't a easy thing to do. I wish all of us have no other responsibilities but just to have this band. I'm frustrated as I know all the mistakes we are doing, but I have no idea how to fix them. Sometimes I wanna lash out at another band member, but then I have to remember we are people. Now I know, all this while I've been taking for granted the keng chao musicians at church. Jamming with them is such a breeze. Buthen again, probably they felt the same way when I first joined the team. Maybe they still do. hah.




Here's my ol school mate who tagged along in one of our sessions. She's experienced and really good. Cute huh?

Oh ya. Jamming with 3 guitars ain't a walk in a park, boy.